The reason why this asifa was made was because each and everyone of the ainiklech and great grandchildren had a strong and valued relationship with Zaidy. You all came to visit, and zaidy was happy to see you and proud of you.

You cared, and he cared. You affected him and were affected by him, You had a special place in your heart for Zaidy and Zaidy had a special place in his heart for you.

During the Shiva, people kept saying to us

“Hamokom yenachem eschem”, Hashem should comfort you.

I wondered, why is this specific title of Hashem , “Hamokom” used?

We could use Hashem, Oveeinu, Malkaynu, Elokaynu

why is this specific title of Hashem , “Hamokom” which means the place, is used?

Perhaps this is hinting  to our family that as a bit of nechama to us  should realise that,  Hamokom, the place should comfort us,

The place that Zaidy occupied in our hearts for Zaidy and the place that we occupied in Zaidys heart should be a good source of comfort for us. We make Zaidy proud and Zaidy makes us proud! We contribute a significant part of ourselves to the person that Zaidy was.

And this relationship does not end, so long as we choose that it does not.

During our year of Aveilus, My brothers and I are saying Kaddish. There are other things that it is commendable for an ovel to do for a parent. Among them:

to lain during the week,

to give tzedakah in their memory

to lead the benching

to daven as the shliach tzibbur

The reason for this is because if the children do a mitzvah it is also to the credit of his or her parents

Specifically when a child caused other people to be mekadesh Hashem or causes them to do a mitzvah it is to their parents credit

By saying kaddish we are causing other people to proclaim “yehai shmai rabba mevorach”

By saying  rabboisai mir vellen benchen we cause the people to proclaim “Yehei shaim  

By laining we cause other people to hear the krias hatoira

I am making a suggestion, and I would like you to think about it

I say think about it, because it require mindfullness

Pick a mitzvah that you are doing leilui nishmas Zaidy

Try to do it every day, at least for this year

Make a kiddush Hashem

And try to effect and enable others to be mekadesh shaim shomayim because of you

How should you do this? This is something that you will figure out once you put your mind to it.

When I was around 7 years old I remember being at Tanta Anna’s house. On the back of her kitchen door there was a saying “ behind ever successful man stands an extremely successful woman.

This is my mother. I will not get into the details now, some of which you already know, but I will just say that my mother was an “enabler” She enabled my father to lead this enriched lifestyle, by taking care of us and the affairs of the house and encouraging my father to use his time for learning instead

My mother did not place financial burden on my father by living an expensive lifestyle. My mother scrimped and was very careful to economize where ever possible to give us what we needed without needing to pressure zaidy

I will end off with a possuk from iyuv

כִּי יֵשׁ לָעֵץ תִּקְוָה אִם יִכָּרֵת וְעוֹד יַחֲלִיף וְיֹנַקְתּוֹ לֹא תֶחְדָּל.

There is hope to a tree if  be cut of  that it will sprout again and its tender branch shall not cease

People tell me that I look like my father

May we all bezoiche that it should all look like zaidy not necessarily in outside appearance but bepnimus